How can we just sit in our ivory towers and judge people for this? It is time to ajust to modernity and learn how to make a ginslag without any pshysical substances or emergency medical treatment needed.
A 'Dry' Ginslag
You Will Need
The screams of 1 stranger
4 indecent exposures
A small fire (some tissues covered in olive oil in a bowl will do)
This video, opened in 4 different windows at the same time
To strip naked
Instructions
Place a stranger on your sofa facing the centre of the room, and tie them around the hands and ankles. When they are in position, stand in the centre of the room and begin. The first exposure must come from behind, so you must show your bottom. For the second, shake violently until an offensive body part is revealed. For the third and fourth exposures start a small fire, and the fumes will guide you. By now your stranger should be screaming heartily.
It is now time to open Eduard Khil in four different windows. When this happens, if you are not already naked following the exposures, strip fully. You may see the devil at exactly 1.09 seconds into the video, if this happens you are doing things right. Spend the next few hours in a frenzy, fuelled by the screams of your chosen stranger. When you begin to hear screams other than those of your stranger, well done, you have just had your first dry ginslag experience.
I hope this will guide busy people along the ginslag's trusty path.
I attempted this at my abode with magnificent results. My stranger (and former postman) screamed until he caught fire himself (thus removing the need for tissues) and then in a flash he became my lover and now we are the proud parents of two iguanas and a pterodactyl.
ReplyDeleteThe christening will be on wednesday and you slags are invited.
Well done ginslag for changing my life.